The Women in My Life by Dr. Dave Cutts
Dear Patients and Friends,
With Debby and me in the middle of celebrating our 35th wedding anniversary I thought it might be of interest to you on how I do it – I refer of course to the question that I get often on how I live and work every day with five women!! Not to mention four cats-all female, dogs-female, horses-female-I swear even the 300 rabbits that feast on our lawn every night are all female!
Well for starters, the training started early because I was raised by mother, older sister, and grandmother (plus older brother John who you will hear of next month!). You’ll hear me say it often in the office, “I was raised by three, live with five, and work with ten! With not too many guys in my life, I learned early that it is best to listen carefully and as often as possible, do what I am told! This has helped me greatly in my career as a dentist because with my patients seem to appreciate this too!
The last 35 years of marriage and raising girls are full of great memories; there were lots of pink and white toys and clothes when they were young and for a long time I knew every song and verse of the Goodnight Moon, Little Mermaid -and! -then came the soccer years and memories of weekends driving a van full of more girls all over Southern California with lots of shrieking in my ears. Right about then I did notice a few guys come into my life – maybe I should say sneaking into my life through the back window-yes that did happen. Soon I had lots of guys who wanted to play tennis with me and just “hang-out” and be my pal. It took a few years for me to fully catch onto them-Debby still claims they we mostly innocent!
As the twins reached their mid-teens the boy-thing reached a bit of a frenzy as 20 year-olds with vans began stalking us on Lolita Road (yes, the name is real, not a joke!). It got so exhausting chasing which guy was with which girl out in the corral or down on the lower lawn behind the hedge that we started relying on Demie, the youngest, to sneak around and come back with regular updates.
Perhaps I should just say the obvious here now, yes they are all gorgeous and look like models! That hasn’t made it any easier.
Anyway, the point is that as the younger two hit their mid-teens our house became the most popular place within a hundred miles for guys to be at. It got so I didn’t really try to remember all of their names-it was all a haze to me honestly. One guy who had been around for three weeks asked to speak to me in my office, I thought he needed help or maybe a loan-no he nervously cleared his throat and requested permission to marry one of my daughters!!(name withheld to protect the innocent!)-I sat back realizing I didn’t know his name and thought, “OK, now I’ve seen everything!”
(Turns out I hadn’t, but that’s for another time to share!)
One of the actual pleasures I got out of this was watching guys watch my daughters. Guys, let me just say what all women know, you’re not too subtle about it! One guys was trying to catch a daughter’s eye at a restaurant, leaned over next to us with his hand on what he thought was a table with legs-well actually he probably wasn’t thinking of anything as he arched an eyebrow and gave her the look…just as he crashed to the floor with drinks, burgers and French fries raining down on his head. Oh, I’ve seen some things, but that was something special because he got up and handed D____ a card for free entrance to his show that night at a local casino (she didn’t go!)
There are a legion more of stories I could tell (a table of 20 year olds besotted with my Wife (for God’s sake) thinking she was Princess Diana-they had the gall to come over and flirt with her AND the girls right in front of me. I tell you I don’t get respect sometime! (Dr. Dangerfield is the name there.) But I’ll close this with a short list of things I have learned from the women in my life:
- “We’re ready to leave now Honey” means I have about an hour to go!
- “Honey, the girls are ready, WE”RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!!” means I have about 15 minutes!
- Add 15-20 minutes per girl for potty breaks on any family trip-at the minimum!
- “That looks, sounds, works great” is the answer to any idea, request for opinion, or dress, my wife is asking about.
- I’ve learned the brand, type, and color of the package, of every maxi, thin, flap, flapless, 24 hour, sport, heavy, light, feminine pad out there and can have them back at the house within 20 minutes upon command!
- I’ve learned that any food I buy is considered open hunting and female property immediately upon discovery-sometimes I’m even complimented on my taste and choices(after its gone)
- I’ve learned the art of breaking-up all over again-only this time it was with one of their boyfriends!! Space doesn’t even begin to permit the stories here!(Lord, the things I’ve had to do!)
- And I’ve adopted a few womanly habits and pleasures-like I get a massage once a week-and I have been known to ask a guy friend, when out to eat, “Hey, do you need to use the restroom!” Pilates and yoga are next! I have limits though-I am NOT wearing those pants!
- I have a man-purse with lots of stuff in it, which I dig around in endlessly!
- And last and most telling of all, I watch Hallmark Channel movies with Debby……. and sometimes I cry!
Now however the estrogen/testosterone tide is turning a bit and I have two son-in-laws, Robert and David who if I could have chosen for my own birth-sons could not be more perfect guys to have in my life. And needless to say, they were raised by mothers who taught them ALL of the same lessons that I was! Still I keep in mind that they are watching and learning from me, and so nearly always in the middle of a family celebration at the table, I will turn and say, “Guys! Are you ready for the toast?” And they, knowing what is coming, raise their glasses as I proclaim loudly, “It is GOOD to be KING”
At which point the girl look at each other, roll their eyes and laugh hysterically!! And we “Kings” tip our glasses and bow our heads to the Queen and Princesses-as we should!
Yes, I am teaching the boys well!
Here’s to the Women in my Life-in all of our lives!
Dr. Dave Cutts